You know that feeling? When you’re just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you’re tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay. But no one’s going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won’t be. But you’re still hoping. And you’re still wishing. And you’re still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.

You want to stop but you can't. No matter what, you have to keep moving forward. Move on with your life. Have you ever thought how life sucks for you? Well try to think how must life have sucked even worst for others. I tried to think over and over again that life is not only unfair to me, but to everyone who feels the same way as I do. I know God is with me all this time. I believe He had plans for whatever my life would be. But I also know the FACT that it isn't Him that makes my life any worst than anybody, it is just LIFE itself. So maybe I'm just a weak girl pretending to be strong. Trying to hide my own pains with smiles. Trying to be as jolly as ever. Laughing at the slightest jokes. Getting mad at simple mistakes.

  

  But this is me. I don't want to be perfect. But I do wish everything in my life would fall back into harmony, just like the way it was more than a month ago. I'm tired. Hell yeah I am. But I'll keep pretending to be strong if it's the only way make myself move forward with this life...with my life. I hate to admit but really I'm just a coward because I still can't...no I don't want to believe He is really gone. I know that TIME is the only thing that could heal this wound carved deep within my heart. I wish time would grant me something called ACCEPTANCE.

Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears and keep reminding yourself that everything happens for a reason.              -cee ;3